It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self

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It’s interesting that there appears to be a lot of literature recently which is focused on the use of psychotherapy of a similar psychoanalytical kind to that which Hendel discusses. But “The Change Triangle” is also super helpful for clinicians to be aware of when working with clients. But knowing he had been treated for depression for years without good results, I wondered about the diagnosis. She introduces us to The Change Triangle, a conceptual tool, a map, to understand our emotions and discover what we are doing with them that limit our awareness and growth.

The healing occurs when we can get past our defenses and secondary emotions, and completely feel and experience our core emotions, so that we can ultimately make contact with our “authentic” self which is characterized by mindfulness, acceptance, congruence and equanimity. Learn to recognise how and when you are stifling your emotions and how to take responsibility for your life.

I may revisit the Change Triangle the next time I'm having a hard time, but honestly I don't think laying the points out in a triangle was effective for me (so you go around the triangle? He told me that his parents were both “preoccupied” with the heavy burdens of a family that “could barely make ends meet.

This book needs to be read and reread a second and third time until the content is digested and settled into your consciousness. In a way, shame wants us to be small, because when we make ourselves small, it’s like putting on armor and we are less likely to be hurt, or in other words, rejected. In the book, Jacobs explores how she the “Change Triangle” to identify defenses (behaviors used to block core/inhibitory emotions), inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, anxiety) that prevent us from fully experiencing our core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement) which would allow us to then enter a state of openheartedness.Worth practicing though, because I think it can deepen our connection to our bodies and how emotions (something that seems intangible) truly affect the tangible aspects of our being. Useful if the cause of your negative emotions is in the past, or if you have any positive emotions available to feel now. And there are inhibitory emotions, like shame, guilt and anxiety, which serve to block you from experiencing core emotions. Instead, this book just drilled the same message over and over and over again: find your place in the change triangle, understand how your emotions are working against and for you, become calm. It is filled with examples from her personal life and her work with patients to help you understand the importance of discovering and accepting your emotional responses and how to use that knowledge to better navigate your life.

All you need to know is that I wasn't diagnosed with depression nor anxiety, but it doesn't mean that I didn't experience these at some point in my life.

In this model Emotional Defenses include anything that you do to distract, numb or otherwise avoid feeling emotionally uncomfortable. Working the change triangle around and around again over a lifetime leads us back to this openhearted state with regularity. It is because the real reason behind it was my fear and shame that developed in me growing up with neglectful parents and constant chaos at home. That said, I would advise seeing a therapist who can guide you through the change triangle as I know personally I would not be able to decode my behaviour using it without help from an outside source.

Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist in private practice in New York and a clinical supervisor with the AEDP Institute. This may include stuff like allowing yourself to feel angry instead of feeling scared, or feeling “disappointed” instead of feeling angry. Distancing ourselves from the emotion, and not attaching or identifying ourselves with it, can have a really big change in our day-to-day lives. This is a must read for anyone who has emotions, and especially for anyone suffering from depression and anxiety. I for instance am aware very often that my anxiety comes from illogical fear but that doesn't make my anxiety go away.Tikrai jokia paslaptis, kad mėgstu savęs pažinimo knygas ir tikiu, jog tai kelias į laimingesnį gyvenimą. of a grief like Brian’s, to learn to let himself cry until the crying stops naturally (which it will, contrary to a belief common among traumatized people) and he feels a sense of visceral relief. How can it be that a seemingly depressed person, one who shows clinical symptoms, doesn’t respond to antidepressants or psychotherapy? The examples were meaningful and I can see how someone struggling could find benefit from this more visualization-based approach. This way of writing gives us a window into how our minds work and how important it is to pay attention to our bodies and our emotions whenever interacting with others (and ourselves).