Willy's Pictures (Willy the Chimp)

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Sex sells, but all of my messaging around this event has been that this is not porn – indeed the stipulations for photo submissions were we wanted FLACCID penises only, which not everyone abided by (yes, we know what a semi looks like, you’re not fooling anyone). Now i'm not opposed to him being naked, but when is it not acceptable anymore ?? I think he's at the age where we should be making him get dressed but hubby thinks thats making him aware of his body and instilling possible hangups and encouraging him to grow up too soon and that we should let him be naked in the garden if he wants to be. Laura Dodsworth, whose excellent documentary 100 Vaginas screened last week, previously produced a book where she photographed penises and spoke to their owner’s about their anxieties.

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But guess what? The idea of what is the ‘correct’ size is distorted anyway. The NHS says most men’s penises are around 3.75in when not erect, and 5 to 7in when erect – a far cry from most online mega-dongs. More to the point, if you do have a smaller penis, why should that mean you don’t feel like a true man? Researchers say 0.6% of men have a micropenis, which would mean 200,000 of men in the UK potentially feeling this way, on top of the men for whom average just doesn’t look big enough. Then he started "wiggling" to make his brother laugh (like boys do) but was shouting and squealing about it so everyone around knew that he was naked. I mentioned a few times that i thought he should put some pants on at least cos it wasn't nice to have your willy out in public, but it just went in one ear and out the other. We only give voice to those who have (or prefer) a larger penis. We need to rebalance the conversation, be more open and vocal about the truth of the matter – which is that penises come in all kinds of varieties as do the people who have, or want them.’ Until the Russians came in, unzipped, we were struggling, but I found that interesting in itself. Why the shyness?The exhibition is about sex only in that we’re using it as way to talk about sexual dysfunction and how penis anxiety can affect you as a man in general. Then when he came in for his tea he decided he wasn't getting dressed so sat at the table naked again cos it was too hot ! This touches upon the broader issues of how men and boys are socialised, where from school masculinity is about rejecting ‘the other’, the feminine, within which looking at or talking about penis matters may be seen as being ‘gay’, and indeed any such anxieties around that area seen as weakness. Such learnings can have detrimental effects that extend way into adulthood.

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Maybe then we can reduce anxiety and love our bodies for what they are. As Laura Dodsworth puts it: ‘Real beauty lies in reality.’ It took Ant a long time for him to deal with his penis anxiety. ‘Talking about it came about almost by accident (in my late 40s) when a very personal poem I wrote caught the attention of the world and went viral,’ he says. My eldest son is almost 7 and today has been out in the garden/paddling pool with my 2yr old. We are potty training at the min and therefore the toddler has been naked most of the day. The fact that penis anxiety is a taboo only adds to the effects on men’s mental health. Who are you going to discuss your ‘manhood’ anxieties with? Your friends, a doctor, your girlfriend even? No chance.Laura, who will be speaking about her work at our Penis Gallery, told me the she called her book about men in her Bare Reality series ‘Manhood’, because men often see the organ as the very heart of their masculinity. This means that if you have a small penis, you are therefore less of a man.