Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide

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Rupert Holmes has received two Edgar Awards from the Mystery Writers of America, and multiple Tony® and Drama Desk Awards for his Broadway mystery musicals, including the book of Curtains and his sole creation, the Tony® Award–winning Best Musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood. His first novel, Where the Truth Lies, was nominated for a Nero Wolfe award for Best American Mystery Novel, was a Booklist Top Ten Debut Novel, and became a motion picture starring Colin Firth and Kevin Bacon. His second novel, Swing, was the first novel with its own original, clue-bearing musical score. He has adapted Agatha Christie, John Grisham, and R.L. Stine for the Broadway and international stage. His short stories have been anthologized in such collections as Best American Mystery Stories, Christmas at the Mysterious Bookshop,and On a Raven’s Wing. Holmes’s earliest story-songs were published in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine and he is also the writer/vocalist of several Billboard Top 10 hits, including his Billboard #1 multi-platinum classic with a memorable twist-ending: “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).” If they refuse to reform, you can proceed with a clear conscience. After all, when the behavior of another person leaves you no choice but to kill them, their murder is simply involuntary suicide.” I mean lol. The first half is a slow-burn with focus on campus life in an idyllic setting of unknown location. In fact, the school’s location is so secret, students arrive blindfolded after being taken on quite a circuitous journey. Upon arrival, they don’t even know what country they are in. The second portion focuses on three graduates: Iverson, Gemma Lindley, and Dulcie Mown. Having mastered all of the skills required to "delete," they are now seeking out their prey. While I found this more engaging than the first half, I think I might have preferred to focus on just one of their stories. Reaching the book's conclusion felt tedious, but I pushed through if only to see who Iverson's mysterious benefactor was. A book begging to be read on the beach, with the sun warming the sand and salt in the air: pure escapism.

Through palpable tension balanced with glimmers of hope, Hoover beautifully captures the heartbreak and joy of starting over.

Rupert Holmes was born on February 24, 1947, in Northwich, Cheshire, England. Soon after, he ventured forth to America (New York) with his British mum and Air Force dad. After graduating from the Manhattan School of Music, Mr. Holmes delved into the art of melodious sound. A successful piano player for both the Cuff Links and the Buoys, with whom he had his first international hit, "Timothy," in 1971, Rupert also wrote and arranged songs for Gene Pitney, The Platters, The Drifters and the Partridge Family. The two men apparently found this amusing, but then Dobson inquired in a more serious tone, “So tell me, Cliff: No regrets for what you did?”

It’s still a safety,” said the sergeant, adding, “Oh, and Cliff? The gun isn’t loaded. But the captain’s is.” Foremost in my mind was that Fiedler was still living, but also living in ignorance of my desire to kill him. If I refused to do what these ex-cops said, they could turn me in, and that would be the end of that. Better to give Dobson and Stedge the impression that I was cooperating, find a way to break free, and take a second stab at killing Fiedler, perhaps literally. I drank the potion with the abandon of a Dr. Jekyll who’s just learned that a fortune has been bequeathed to any man named Hyde.

Stedge was a short, muscular man inadequately contained by the seams of his rayon suit. He sported an identical tie to the captain’s, indicating either that he was having an affair with Dobson’s unloving wife or that they’d bought their ties at the same store from a display labeled “None Over a Quarter.” The handle of a police revolver peeked from behind his left lapel where it nestled uneasily in an ill-fitting shoulder holster. I truly love the concept of this book. The beginning was super slow because of the narration. I’m positive that I would have read it much faster and enjoyed it more. Dobson’s features became dour again, obviously their default position. “And try to strike again, just as ineptly? The hell with that. You’re in desperate need of some schooling.” With a final thesis before him, Cliff will have to develop the perfect plan to kill someone and ensure that he is not caught. He relies on some of his fellow students and those around him who have ideas that could help him. However, he is also the target of others who seek to exemplify all they have learned from the McMasters Conservatory. When presented with the time to complete his final assignment, Cliff will have to decide if all this training is worth it, turning him into the ideal murderer. Rupert Holmes does well to create an eerie and thought-provoking book, whose realism is left to the reader’s imagination.

Eventually Caltech led me to MIT, which led me to aircraft manufacturer Woltan Industries, which led me to homicide. This was not entirely MIT’s fault. I don’t even blame Woltan that much, except for their choice of senior executives, one being my supervisor Merrill Fiedler, who needs to die. But it was the train that would kill Fiedler, I told myself for the hundredth time, knowing this to be the shabbiest of self-deceptions. I had all the intent of a killer but not the soul. Guns, knives, poisons... these were murder weapons, all of which I’m too inexpert or squeamish to wield with any guarantee of success. But I’d also ruled out poisons and all other arms-length methods that had sprung to mind, for they seemed too calculated and detached, requiring the meticulous planning of a certifiable psychopath. Then the notion of giving Fiedler one good, hard shove had come to me. Yes, I could probably manage that, particularly after having to restrain myself from doing so for the last three years, each time Fiedler savaged another helpless employee. A shove, a push, a jostle seemed very unlike an act of murder. It was simply what might happen at the beginning of a good old-fashioned barroom brawl, before someone in authority called out, “Now-now, boys, there’ll be none of that here!” One justifiable shove for all the demeaning, degrading insults and condescending sneers Fiedler flayed and spewed in all directions each workday. With all of the detailing and overtly explaining how they all learned and planned their murders - the methods were smart, don't get me wrong - it became kind of repetitive. The book was way too long. Were there things that should've been edited/removed? Of course. But, regardless of faults, I was FEASTING!

You see, once a student sets foot on campus, there are only two ways to depart: either as a fully accredited graduate or in an attractive urn. So… you’re not going to arrest me?” I asked, feeling a multitude of angel feathers brushing my face as I rose from an abyss into radiant light. “What about Fiedler?” From the diabolical imagination of Edgar Award–winning novelist, playwright, and story-songwriter Rupert Holmes comes a devilish thriller with a killer concept: The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts, a luxurious, clandestine college dedicated to the fine art of murder where earnest students study how best to “delete” their most deserving victim.

Those of a certain age ( ahem) may remember him for 1979’s earworm “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” A new novel from the man who wrote Swing (2005), Where the Truth Lies (2003), and “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).”It all went a bit downhill when the book moved on to following three students through three murders. The murders were hugely overplanned, in a way that sounds clever at first glance but entirely depended on a whole lot of people unknowingly doing things exactly as hoped, and detailed so lovingly that the book slowed to an absolute crawl. And also, they were three entirely unrelated murders! I wanted to see them woven together, or for something to bring the various characters and plots together (ideally in a way that would give them a bit more actual character work), but it was just three chopped up accounts of three unconvincingly elaborate plans to kill people, and by the end I will admit to skimming. Not sure why this took me so long to get through! It's certainly a uniquely told story from a unique author, filled with a bit of mystery and humor and a lot of drama. In some ways, it reminded me of a TJ Klune book, and in other ways of a quirky suspense tale. With dry humor and an eye for hidden clues, Rupert Holmes imagines a secret Hogwarts-like school that teaches the fine art of pulling off the perfect (and perfectly deserved) murder. An utterly creative and deliciously diabolical read.” — Alafair Burke, New York Times bestselling author of Find Me I thought this story was going to be amazing, but it just didn't work for me. It was messy, the writing didn't work for me, there were way too many unneccessary details and I felt no connection to the characters.