Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood

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I feel like I’ve finally been seen in this indescribable journey of what I now understand to be ‘Matrescence’. And yet this life-altering transition has been sorely neglected by science, medicine and philosophy. How can this be, Lucy Jones asks, when it is “a transition that involves a whole spectrum of emotional and existential ruptures”? A purely scientific approach might have been dry; a social history well-trod and worthy; a memoir too inward-looking to make wider points.

I wouldn’t have wanted to read this brutally honest book whilst pregnant (or attempting to be…); but 23 years later can say that so much resonated. Science based, no woo (rare in a pregnancy/birth book), straightforward and full of the reality of pregnancy, birth and small children. Thank you to the author - a book unlike anything I’ve read before on motherhood, and one that many women will not only relate to, but will also benefit from reading. Jones sheds light on the trauma faced by new mothers, whilst describing the failings of Western Society when it comes to supporting mothers throughout their journey.

During pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood, women undergo a far-reaching physiological, psychological and social metamorphosis. Feminism owes a great debt to the women who smell smoke, and societal assumptions about unmedicated birth, breastfeeding, and intensive mothering continue to harm women’s mental and physical health daily. Jones's lyrical, compassionate exploration of the ever-shifting boundaries of selfhood that evolved within our interconnected biosphere, confronts today's societal demands for individual autonomy, culminating in a passionate and powerful maternal roar for change. Indeed, the chapter on the maternal brain is especially fascinating and, more importantly, validating for those of us who feel society’s minimising of matrescence flies in the face of our experience of it.

As it deepens our understanding of matrescence, it raises vital questions about motherhood and femininity; interdependence and individual identity; as well as about our relationships with each other and the living world. The cultural myths of motherhood hold strong, and at times I found myself craving more delight, particularly because Jones’s writing on this aspect of motherhood is some of the most beautiful and creative in the book. Amazing book - one of the first books I’ve read that contains really convincing accounts of pregnancy and early motherhood written by someone who gets it. I’m so glad that it exists during a time when I’m in my own early matrescence, because so much of what’s in it has been a comfort and reassurance to me.Experimental flourishes in her text – alongside all that beautiful, accessible writing – also add to its majesty.

A phrase far too often used, but this is ‘essential reading’ for everyone - not just mothers or fathers or care-givers, but everyone. It’s one I almost fell into, at times, as Jones laid out her experience of the “major, traumatic life crisis” that saw her confronted with her own “fundamental lack of control”, battling with feelings of guilt and “internal badness”, and experiencing “the loneliest time of my adult life” (38% of new mothers spend more than eight hours alone each day). I absolutely related to lots of the book, and really tried to take the first few chapters from an objective point of view because I did not have the same experiences when it came to child birth and breastfeeding, but I do completely understand that the emphasis was on the pressure that the ‘natural mother’ rhetoric puts on women. She raises very valid questions on how our society, the corporate world, our 'social media' - makes motherhood a harder task than it already is. The pioneer of attachment theory, John Bowlby, did indeed underline the importance of the proximity of a child to a caregiver in terms of their emotional development, but he also said that parents are equally “dependent on a greater society for economic provision”, and that society should “cherish” its parents.Yet there are glorious, moving glimpses of maternal solidarity here too: the woman who picks a book off the floor of a train and reads it to Jones’s screaming daughter, the older woman at the garden centre who kneels down to tie Jones’s shoes because her hands are full with babies. Spotting a similar spider in her children’s toy box not long after, she’s relieved to find no babies. I really hope policy makers read this book too, I have immediately given it to my partner as Lucy Jones manages to explain many of my thoughts through matrescence better than myself. I have to say, I wouldn’t read this book until after you’ve become a mum—her birth stories and descriptions of early motherhood and caring for a tiny human may very well put you off of having children!